I'm getting a new job (aka being downsized, or not?)

WHOA! What a freakin' day people! Who knew that I would find such solace in my web log (web+ log = blog). Word on the street is that I actually have a fan (or two). I mean, as of this afternoon, I could confirm that two people actually had read my blog. I feel like Gidget: "They like me, they really like me."

Anyway, my temperament is somewhere between tears and joy. I think it's kind of like being in an LDS testimony meeting and knowing that it's your turn to get up. You're all nervous and jittery on the inside; you're trying to hold back your sobs and sniffles, with sniffles predominating, because you'll feel (not to mention sound) like a complete idiot if you're crying from the stand. And you're not really sad; you're confused. Because if you're so happy about something, why is there a lump in your throat?

The lump I've got in my throat is like unto the one I had in Junior High when my junior high crush "broke up" with me. Oh man was I tormented! I mean, talk about puppy love. I was like a freaking German Shepard with that crush. Thankfully, he married one of my better friends and I found my prince charming; so naturally the lump went away . . . but today the lump returned.

At this moment, Danny's in the room next door listening to Death Cab and I can hear the lyrics to "Heaven and Hell" muffled through the door. "If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks, I'll follow you into the dark . . ."

How poetic, I'm kind of moving into the dark. . . back to the job, right?

So, I'm being handed a new position. Basically my employer is giving me this fabulous job where they hand picked all the things about my job that make me happy and bring me joy and let me be creative . . .and I don’t have to be on call anymore, or answer questions to idiot reporters form Utah Valley, or talk about Boise passengers (have you read the story yet?) Seriously, google my name and try and find a reference to "Sabrena Suite-Mangum" that doesn't include a reference to a man and his beloved 'sick sack.' (That comment may come back to haunt me.)

Thank goodness for the delete button . . . although I'll leave it be until I get hate mail from someone. (Ew, if I get hate mail from this blog that means someone is actually reading it!!! And I've struck a chord!!! Usually I reserve that talent for discussions on politics at the dinner table . . . or with people from Utah Valley).

So no more crisis communications, or seriously intense emergency response responsibilities. . . no more media relations (which is weird, because I'm really thir resident expert on the subject matter). So it is odd, but to be honest . . . it's a good thing. My personal life is going to reap the benefits . . .(Shhh, don't tell but I'm kind of out growing that piece anyway.) So I keep telling myself, that this is a good thing. . .

Although, I don't know my new title. I'm going to lobby for PR and Community Relations Goddess; but I'm not sure our Human Relations Management System has a job code for it yet. . . but it's worth a shot. Maybe, "Really important talker" I mean who wouldn't love a business card with that title?

Sabrena Suite-Mngum
Really Important Talker
Company Name Here
ssuitemangum@gmail.com

Actually, now that I think about it . . there are a few other titles I'd like.

Sabrena Suite-Mangum
Director - Emotional Thinness

Sabrena Suite-Mangum
Hipper than your average Short-Bus Rider

Sabrena Suite-Mangum
Lead Shopping Philanthropist

Maybe I should open this up to our vast blogging-audience. Why don’t you come up with my new title? My job description includes everything from recruitment marketing to community relations, philanthropic responsibilities and promotional and trade vendor, stuff.

So I'm putting it out to you cyber-space . . . Name my job title!
The winner receives something really delicious like my vast collection of missing sock matches. You could make a quilt with those things.

OK friends. . . I'm feeling much better. The lump is practically gone. It's moved into my stomach and may someday manifest itself as an ulcer, but until then, I just drink a thirst-quenching "Pepto" smoothie and look forward to the weekend.

In honor of LDS Conference Weekend, I'll bend it like the Mo-Tab on a Saturday afternoon session: "God be with you 'til we meet again."

suite


post script. There are a lot of references to Mormon culture in this entry. Can you find all 7? Don't forget the hidden reference where we worked in the scripture language "like unto"...Thankfully, out two readers are either a) Mormon or b) jack Mormon, but really interested in moving towards Jill their visiting teacher.